Power Weaves by Mark

(The scene opens Joel is at the mirror trying on two different styles of blonde wigs. Ashley enters the room with a drink in his hand)

Ashley

Hey babes what you doing?

Joel

You know trying to figure out which one to go with …. The Mary JB or the `Beyoncé I’m meeting Nay tonight

Ashley

Second date look at you all settling down

Joel

Babes it’s just a second date but he is kinda nice

Ashley

Until you ask to meet his friends or worse go to his apartment

Joel

He’s not look like that …… I’m sure he’s not like that

Ashley

You don’t seem too sure …

Joel

Well, we are still getting to know each other but I’m sure (adjusting his weave)

Ashley

Sounds like you need a big ole can of WMBGS

Joel

Oh lord here we go ……

Ashley

White man be gone spray Effective against 99.9% of white gay nonsense

Joel

It’s the fetishization for me

Ashley

It’s the “oh baby how do you get your skin so soft” for me

Joel

It’s the “can I touch your hair” (swots ’imaginary hand away)

for me

Ashley

It’s the “we’re you born here or did your parents travel from Lagos” for me

Joel

It’s the “I’ve never been with a black guy” for me

Ashley

It’s the “do your people celebrate Christmas of Kwanza” for me

(Play sound bite of Tony Talks while they look outwards)

Joel

Man, I look fat this diet sucks

Ashley

Oh, do you mean the one where you eat a whole baked cheesecake and watch Wendy reruns at 2:00am diet?

Joel

Yes, my Aunty tried that…

Ashley

How did she get on?

Joel

She died

(They laugh)

Ashley

You know I just don’t know how you can do it

Joel

Do what?

Ashley

You know date white guys …I just have reached a point where I can no longer surround myself with that type of energy I mean when you go into space, and you are literally the only black elephant in the room you have to ask yourself is this space really for me? There was a time when I might have tried to smile and get on but now, I know that just ain’t the place for me

Joel

You just mad cuz no one wanted to take you home

Ashley

Really? Really? (Tilts head)

Yeah, I’m mad but not like crazy irrational shoot up a shopping mall mad it’s more long-term strategy mad you know the type privileged white woman in corporate HR be scheming against Jerome in accounts because she was told … “please and I mean this with utmost sincerity don’t touch my hair!!” Mad

Joel

Ohhhh child that be the worst kinda mad there be … hell have no furry like a Penny from HR scorned

Ashley

I’m resisting and refusing to have my existence validated through the lens of the white gaze for too long we have allowed ourselves to be defined by their terms, are we light enough, do we sound white enough are we willing to compromise our cultural heritage and assimilate to theirs and its soul destroying and for what? So that we can say we are worthy enough as defined by their terms ….no I aint going out like that

Joel

Ok Angela settle down over there

Besides I don’t see any brothers stepping to the plate

Ashley

Sure, there are what about that fine medical student Troy you were dating?

Joel

Turns out he was also interested in dating women as well as men

Ashley

Ok how about Tyrone, he was nice

Joel

Yeah, he was but you know he had to care for his mother, and they lived all the way out in the stix

Ashley

What about that lovely church choir master Alex

Joel

Ok any man who needs to take a Dettol bath after sex has deep seated issues which unfortunately, I have not got the time or inclination to explore

Ashley

So white boy wonder it is

Still, I just don’t know…. And I know I could not

Joel

Well just as well you aint going on this date then

Ashley

Hell yeah

Joel

So back to my original question the Mary JB or the Beyonce?

Ashley

You really gonna rock up in a lace front on your second date

Joel

Yeah, why not? Best prepare him for what’s to come

Ashley

Chile aint nobody ready for what’s to come with you, not FEMA The Red cross or God himself

Joel

Well, he best be cuss I’m a coming and chile I don’t think he’s ready for this jelly

(Sings a lyric with reference to coming to get someone by distinguishable artist)

Ashley

No one is everrrrrrr gonna be ready for all that jelly

So, when you guys hooking up

Joel

Friday

Ashley

Oh, I see all set up for the long weekend

Joel

No…… it was only time we were both free

Ashley

And, nothing to do with the fact that you have the flat to yourself all weekend …yous a ho

Joel

No, it’s not like that

Ashley

No baby? really baby? No? Hmmmm

Joel

Anyway, he might not want to stay over

Ashley

You see!! I knew you were inner ho scheming!

Joel

Hey, let’s meet next week and catch up and I can tell you all about it

Ashley

I don’t know if I want to hear it but sure

Joel

Ok I gotta bounce but next week yeah?

Ashley

Yeah, sure that’s if you can tear yourself away

Joel

Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do

Ashley

Which is not much

(Calls out of stage walking out of the door)

Scene fades and lights come up on scene in Joel’s bedroom he’s sitting wrapped up in bed wearing a pokemon onesie watching tv we can hear old Oprah / Wendy reruns been played)

The wigs are in a crumpled tangled mess on the floor at the foot of the bed

Ashley enters the room

Ashley

Damn You could da cracked open a window or something smells like something crawled on up in here and died

Joel

It did just that it didn’t die immediately rather its slowly decaying and fading away

Ashley

Oh no you aint got PTWBS (post traumatic whiteboy syndrome?)

Joel

No

Ashley

So, what’s wrong with you?

Joel

Nothing

Ashley

What do you mean nothing I’ve seen this face before, always the same after Tony, after Alex, actually after all of them. Let me see…

(He reaches over Joel and down under the side of the bed fishes around and pulls out 3 empty cartoons of cake product – he reaches behind the bed stead and pulls out 2 empty bottles of Malibu)

Ashley

What happened?

Joel

Don’t want to talk about it

Ashley

Ok fair enough

(He turns the TV up louder we hear Wendy’s throaty whine)

Ashley

Is this the “he took your man because he can” ex-husband revenge episode

Joel

Yeah

Ashley

This is jokes

(TV blurts outs “and she did what !!”)

They stare at the TV Ashley chuckling Joel staring unblinkingly

Joel

Where does she find them and why would you go on national TV like that?

Ashley

I guess people want to feel heard to feel acknowledged to be seen

Joel

Yeah, but on national TV with 200 million viewers!!

Ashley

No babes Wendy wishes she got that type of viewing rating try more 1 – 1.5 million

Joel

Still, that’s a lot of people watching and up in your business

Ashley

I’d never do it but it sure makes for great entertainment

(TV flares up with audience howling)

Joel

You know what gets me is just how disposable those people are made to feel, you know like oh nothing we shared or had really amounted to much and now it’s just time for you to move on and then when they come on the show, they are subjected to even more humiliation of people knowing their business and been completely indifferent … no not indifferent they want to know but only so they can ridicule them to feel better about themselves its fucked

Ashley

Its prime viewing is what it is

Joel

People put themselves out there and really try to make meaningful connections and build a life for themselves only to come across those that just want to tear them and it down, and for what? What gratification are they after? What validation does it bring? Knowing that you have reduced a human soul to nothing more than an inanimate being eroded their humanity and left them feeling as nothing more than unworthy of the one thing we are all deserving of Love. What brings another human being to that point?

(Ashley carry’s on looking at the screen)

Joel

So, there I was at Jays Smokin BBQ Hut waiting for my porky chicken wings entrée to arrive when he just came right on out with it cool and clear as the day like an ice stream of fractured glass each sliver delivering its keen kiss against my skin. How did I know you would pick the chicken I mean I guess you and your people must really like chicken like how the Chinese like rice …… he came out with it just like that and for a moment I thought I might have mis heard him but no there we were and there he was, sitting opposite me smiling away like he had just asked me to pass the salt!

Ashley

Chile, I wish I had been there!! I wish I wish I wish he woulda said that to me

Joel

So, I pointed out that actually I didn’t really eat that much chicken and really preferred fish but I liked the wings and that most of family were in fact vegans but it was like he wasn’t listening to me because the next thing that came out of his mouth was, “is that because chicken is so cheap that a lot of black people eat it?”

Ashley

Lord merciful heavens take me now…. What did you say?

Joel

I didn’t say anything I was stunned …in fact I was kinda waiting for the film crew to appear and Davina McCall to run up with a mic and declare I had been Punked but there was no hidden camera crew and no Devina just me him and my rapidly diminishing appetite.

I was about to respond when he blind-sided me with “but I think your different from the others” I swear I almost fell off my stool.

Ashley

Fell of your stool!?!? You mean the stool fell on his neck

Joel

I couldn’t believe it one minute we had been talking about GOT and the next we were talking about chicken bones you couldn’t make it up!

Ashley

Ashley continues to scream into a large cushion

Joel

I asked what benchmark around Black behavioural trends he was applying in making this assumption and that perhaps he might want to review where he sourced his data and then perhaps cancel his subscription but no he had started the racial locomotive and he was intent on face planting it firmly and resolutely into the discrimination cliff.

Ashley

You really could not make it up

Joel

Unfortunately, it would appear so……

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