Power Weaves by Mark
(The scene opens Joel is at the mirror trying on two different styles of blonde wigs. Ashley enters the room with a drink in his hand)
Ashley
Hey babes what you doing?
Joel
You know trying to figure out which one to go with …. The Mary JB or the `Beyoncé I’m meeting Nay tonight
Ashley
Second date look at you all settling down
Joel
Babes it’s just a second date but he is kinda nice
Ashley
Until you ask to meet his friends or worse go to his apartment
Joel
He’s not look like that …… I’m sure he’s not like that
Ashley
You don’t seem too sure …
Joel
Well, we are still getting to know each other but I’m sure (adjusting his weave)
Ashley
Sounds like you need a big ole can of WMBGS
Joel
Oh lord here we go ……
Ashley
White man be gone spray Effective against 99.9% of white gay nonsense
Joel
It’s the fetishization for me
Ashley
It’s the “oh baby how do you get your skin so soft” for me
Joel
It’s the “can I touch your hair” (swots ’imaginary hand away)
for me
Ashley
It’s the “we’re you born here or did your parents travel from Lagos” for me
Joel
It’s the “I’ve never been with a black guy” for me
Ashley
It’s the “do your people celebrate Christmas of Kwanza” for me
(Play sound bite of Tony Talks while they look outwards)
Joel
Man, I look fat this diet sucks
Ashley
Oh, do you mean the one where you eat a whole baked cheesecake and watch Wendy reruns at 2:00am diet?
Joel
Yes, my Aunty tried that…
Ashley
How did she get on?
Joel
She died
(They laugh)
Ashley
You know I just don’t know how you can do it
Joel
Do what?
Ashley
You know date white guys …I just have reached a point where I can no longer surround myself with that type of energy I mean when you go into space, and you are literally the only black elephant in the room you have to ask yourself is this space really for me? There was a time when I might have tried to smile and get on but now, I know that just ain’t the place for me
Joel
You just mad cuz no one wanted to take you home
Ashley
Really? Really? (Tilts head)
Yeah, I’m mad but not like crazy irrational shoot up a shopping mall mad it’s more long-term strategy mad you know the type privileged white woman in corporate HR be scheming against Jerome in accounts because she was told … “please and I mean this with utmost sincerity don’t touch my hair!!” Mad
Joel
Ohhhh child that be the worst kinda mad there be … hell have no furry like a Penny from HR scorned
Ashley
I’m resisting and refusing to have my existence validated through the lens of the white gaze for too long we have allowed ourselves to be defined by their terms, are we light enough, do we sound white enough are we willing to compromise our cultural heritage and assimilate to theirs and its soul destroying and for what? So that we can say we are worthy enough as defined by their terms ….no I aint going out like that
Joel
Ok Angela settle down over there
Besides I don’t see any brothers stepping to the plate
Ashley
Sure, there are what about that fine medical student Troy you were dating?
Joel
Turns out he was also interested in dating women as well as men
Ashley
Ok how about Tyrone, he was nice
Joel
Yeah, he was but you know he had to care for his mother, and they lived all the way out in the stix
Ashley
What about that lovely church choir master Alex
Joel
Ok any man who needs to take a Dettol bath after sex has deep seated issues which unfortunately, I have not got the time or inclination to explore
Ashley
So white boy wonder it is
Still, I just don’t know…. And I know I could not
Joel
Well just as well you aint going on this date then
Ashley
Hell yeah
Joel
So back to my original question the Mary JB or the Beyonce?
Ashley
You really gonna rock up in a lace front on your second date
Joel
Yeah, why not? Best prepare him for what’s to come
Ashley
Chile aint nobody ready for what’s to come with you, not FEMA The Red cross or God himself
Joel
Well, he best be cuss I’m a coming and chile I don’t think he’s ready for this jelly
(Sings a lyric with reference to coming to get someone by distinguishable artist)
Ashley
No one is everrrrrrr gonna be ready for all that jelly
So, when you guys hooking up
Joel
Friday
Ashley
Oh, I see all set up for the long weekend
Joel
No…… it was only time we were both free
Ashley
And, nothing to do with the fact that you have the flat to yourself all weekend …yous a ho
Joel
No, it’s not like that
Ashley
No baby? really baby? No? Hmmmm
Joel
Anyway, he might not want to stay over
Ashley
You see!! I knew you were inner ho scheming!
Joel
Hey, let’s meet next week and catch up and I can tell you all about it
Ashley
I don’t know if I want to hear it but sure
Joel
Ok I gotta bounce but next week yeah?
Ashley
Yeah, sure that’s if you can tear yourself away
Joel
Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do
Ashley
Which is not much
(Calls out of stage walking out of the door)
Scene fades and lights come up on scene in Joel’s bedroom he’s sitting wrapped up in bed wearing a pokemon onesie watching tv we can hear old Oprah / Wendy reruns been played)
The wigs are in a crumpled tangled mess on the floor at the foot of the bed
Ashley enters the room
Ashley
Damn You could da cracked open a window or something smells like something crawled on up in here and died
Joel
It did just that it didn’t die immediately rather its slowly decaying and fading away
Ashley
Oh no you aint got PTWBS (post traumatic whiteboy syndrome?)
Joel
No
Ashley
So, what’s wrong with you?
Joel
Nothing
Ashley
What do you mean nothing I’ve seen this face before, always the same after Tony, after Alex, actually after all of them. Let me see…
(He reaches over Joel and down under the side of the bed fishes around and pulls out 3 empty cartoons of cake product – he reaches behind the bed stead and pulls out 2 empty bottles of Malibu)
Ashley
What happened?
Joel
Don’t want to talk about it
Ashley
Ok fair enough
(He turns the TV up louder we hear Wendy’s throaty whine)
Ashley
Is this the “he took your man because he can” ex-husband revenge episode
Joel
Yeah
Ashley
This is jokes
(TV blurts outs “and she did what !!”)
They stare at the TV Ashley chuckling Joel staring unblinkingly
Joel
Where does she find them and why would you go on national TV like that?
Ashley
I guess people want to feel heard to feel acknowledged to be seen
Joel
Yeah, but on national TV with 200 million viewers!!
Ashley
No babes Wendy wishes she got that type of viewing rating try more 1 – 1.5 million
Joel
Still, that’s a lot of people watching and up in your business
Ashley
I’d never do it but it sure makes for great entertainment
(TV flares up with audience howling)
Joel
You know what gets me is just how disposable those people are made to feel, you know like oh nothing we shared or had really amounted to much and now it’s just time for you to move on and then when they come on the show, they are subjected to even more humiliation of people knowing their business and been completely indifferent … no not indifferent they want to know but only so they can ridicule them to feel better about themselves its fucked
Ashley
Its prime viewing is what it is
Joel
People put themselves out there and really try to make meaningful connections and build a life for themselves only to come across those that just want to tear them and it down, and for what? What gratification are they after? What validation does it bring? Knowing that you have reduced a human soul to nothing more than an inanimate being eroded their humanity and left them feeling as nothing more than unworthy of the one thing we are all deserving of Love. What brings another human being to that point?
(Ashley carry’s on looking at the screen)
Joel
So, there I was at Jays Smokin BBQ Hut waiting for my porky chicken wings entrée to arrive when he just came right on out with it cool and clear as the day like an ice stream of fractured glass each sliver delivering its keen kiss against my skin. How did I know you would pick the chicken I mean I guess you and your people must really like chicken like how the Chinese like rice …… he came out with it just like that and for a moment I thought I might have mis heard him but no there we were and there he was, sitting opposite me smiling away like he had just asked me to pass the salt!
Ashley
Chile, I wish I had been there!! I wish I wish I wish he woulda said that to me
Joel
So, I pointed out that actually I didn’t really eat that much chicken and really preferred fish but I liked the wings and that most of family were in fact vegans but it was like he wasn’t listening to me because the next thing that came out of his mouth was, “is that because chicken is so cheap that a lot of black people eat it?”
Ashley
Lord merciful heavens take me now…. What did you say?
Joel
I didn’t say anything I was stunned …in fact I was kinda waiting for the film crew to appear and Davina McCall to run up with a mic and declare I had been Punked but there was no hidden camera crew and no Devina just me him and my rapidly diminishing appetite.
I was about to respond when he blind-sided me with “but I think your different from the others” I swear I almost fell off my stool.
Ashley
Fell of your stool!?!? You mean the stool fell on his neck
Joel
I couldn’t believe it one minute we had been talking about GOT and the next we were talking about chicken bones you couldn’t make it up!
Ashley
Ashley continues to scream into a large cushion
Joel
I asked what benchmark around Black behavioural trends he was applying in making this assumption and that perhaps he might want to review where he sourced his data and then perhaps cancel his subscription but no he had started the racial locomotive and he was intent on face planting it firmly and resolutely into the discrimination cliff.
Ashley
You really could not make it up
Joel
Unfortunately, it would appear so……